at the risk of receiving hate mail (although at this stage, any mail would be good, you lazy blog-readers!) the other day i heard an interesting point made by a very wise woman:
"men will sift through the myriad of information u tell them to pick out the one point that they might have the slightest degree of expertise in."
in other words: don't talk about stuff with men that they don't know shit about as it makes them feel useless.
aha! so that's where i've been going wrong all these years.