22 October 2006

Crisis in the US!

This just in from Bloody hell! They can take away my lip gloss, and they can take away my books, but I'm buggered if I'll let them take away my Vegemite. (OK, in actuality, no one is getting my lip gloss or my books off me, but you get the drift.)

There's no accounting for taste

THE US has banned Vegemite, even to the point of searching Australians for jars of the spread when they enter the country.

The bizarre crackdown was prompted because Vegemite has been deemed illegal under US food laws.

The great Aussie icon - faithfully carried around the world by travellers from downunder - contains folate, which under a technicality, America allows to be added only to breads and cereals.

Australian expatriates in the US said enforcement of the ban had been gradually stepped up and was now ruining lifelong traditions of Vegemite on toast for breakfast.

Kraft spokeswoman Joanna Scott said: "The (US) Food and Drug Administration doesn't allow the import of Vegemite simply because the recipe does have the addition of folic acid.''

The US was "a minor market'' for Vegemite, she said.


  1. They just took a dump on your culture lass, does Australia have nukes?

  2. australian culture? surely an oxymoron, old man. yup, the US takeshita on poor ol' oz.
    i have no idea if we're nuked up, but i think not...

  3. I think we prefer to ride on the nuclear coat tails of the USA.

    Banning Vegemite...outrageous.

  4. No nukes expect to be invaded, I see a pattern , vegemite just like Saddam is merely an excuse.

  5. Well while I want to travel all over the world I guess America is now off my list on places I could visit due to danger to my life or health...

    Life without vegimite is not worth living. How dare they...

    Hey GG, Are you still up for meeting up for a drink sometime soon?

  6. You should retaliate by removing the "American" from any food products. Like start calling American cheese, Freedom cheese. That'll show 'em (us).

  7. Can....can they do that? Take away our favourite horrible, black, by-product of beer manufacture? And what reason again? Folate? Aren't we going to add this "folate" to bread anyway?

    I think we're pretty tolerant of Americans in general. They torture prisoners. We say fine. They pump a stupid amount of chemicals in the air despite all indictations that this will irrevocably change the Earth's atmosphere making it habitable only to cockroaches. We glance away. They tromp around the world and make slack-jawed comments like, "Hot enuff fore yuh?" and we grimace. We know that not all Americans are ignorant, gap-toothed morons who are placed on this planet solely to piss us off.

    But take vegemite from us? Are they crazy? Sure we've become a country full of flabby snobs who have embraced the cafe culture with fleshy arms but deep down, encoded in our DNA, is a murderous impulse. An impulse bestowed upon us by our convict forefathers which gave later generations the skill to track down crocodiles and gut them with breadknives.

    I pity the poor fools who try to take vegemite from the hands of visiting Aussies. Riots will ensue. Blood will be spilled. And spread over toast.

  8. vk - yup, little johnny kisses big george's arse and we're rewarded with this outrage. now that the us has reverted to medieval practices, it's now torture for australians too. i've heard that screaming 'koala blue' won't help any either.

    old man - i see invasion is imminent. just as pink is the new black, vegemite is now the new wmd. probably not such a leap for those who have tasted it.

    lulu - don't let the big bads frighten you off, petal. there's always the black market. personally, it has renewed my ambition to visit armed with a lethal 235gram jar of the good stuff. i'll wave it around my head and demand my right to ... folate.
    drinks would be great - drop me an email and we'll make a plan.

    hamish - aha, i see a ban on american foodstuffs as that will hit 'em where it hurts. an economy of twenty million in the arse end of nowhere can do immeasurable damage to an economy of 300 million. you just watch.
    i was thinking you were a bit outnumbered here, but then i remembered you're one of us too.

    fat - nice post, i mean, comment, which completely put my rather vacuous four lines to shame. i mentioned books, though. did you see me mention books? i really am an intellectual type, i just hide it really, really well. erm, really.

  9. I wonder what old jelly belly Harold Bishop has to say about this.

  10. Vegemite is the code name for a powerful high explosive invented by an obscure Australian scientist.

    Well, that's what George told me anyway.

  11. kieran - is harold still alive? is he still on the show or has he been washed off another rock? sigh, i miss my neighbours, which, incidentally, i never watched until i spent a couple of years on your fair isle. everyone i met was obsessed with it, and it rubbed off.
    nice to see you back!

    forty_two - all our scientists are obscure. we closet them away and they come up with life changing inventions like ... um, clotheslines.

  12. Vegemite just has an explosive sounding name like dynamite and cordite.