1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
George W. Bush
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Paris Hilton. OK, technically, she is not an artist or a musician, but she has released some warbling CD, although even if she hadn't, she should be destroyed already.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Andie McDowell - the most annoying woman on the planet.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Chicken schnitzel, lettuce, tomato, avocado, tasty cheese on sourdough. With butter and mayonnaise.
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
David Beckham (and I don't want to hear you pedants saying he's not a movie celebrity. This is my fantasy so I'll pick who I like)
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Put it towards dinner for Dave and Robbie, so they can regain their strength.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Take Dave and Robbie to the nearest pub. Hey, can I help it if the boys tagged along coz they can't get enough of me?
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Moet & Chandon. What else, darling?
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
I would travel to London, circa 1665, after Charles II was restored to the English throne. I would go to Whitehall and eat, drink and be merry in the bawdy society he created after the boring puritanical rule of Oliver Cromwell. I would go and see the plays of Dryden, Congreve and Wycherley. My wig would be bigger, better, higher and whiter than anyone else's. I would wear gorgeous gowns, show off my impressive cleavage and flirt outrageously. I would be very, very drunk. Good times. When do I leave?
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I am she who must be obeyed.
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
It's called Gaijin Girl Strikes Again. Its premise is the sorry existence of an Australian woman in Japan who resorts to blogging stupid memes to entertain herself. But then she meets two guys, Dave and Robbie, and moves to Scotland and lives happily ever after with her two fellas in a grand old castle. With minions.
15. What is your favorite curse word?
I don't curse; I find it highly offensive.
16. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
My computer, which would be an absolute cunt to get out of the house, as I've got a fucking, bloody desktop. It's a piece of shite crap, but I can't live without the motherfucker. Arse!
17. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Tell them to stop just standing around my bed like freaks, as I'm paying them by the hour, and to get back to work cleaning GGHQ.
18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Why wait? Bite me already.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
I become the next Slayer.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Sitting on a rowboat after midnight on Loch Morag in Scotland. A fit Scottish army bloke was rowing and I had a glass of red wine in my hand to warm me from the freezing air. It was a full moon and a piper was standing on another boat not far away, piping his tunes. The haunting sounds echoed through the glen and the moonlight reflected off the loch. One of the most magical moments of my life.
21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I have blocked all horrible experiences from my accessible memory. No wait ... there was that Pseudo Echo concert back in 1984. That's gotta go.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-travelling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?
I'm going to stay in Scotland with Dave and Robbie because I'm a time-travelling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. Try and stop me.
23. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
None, because I'm a time-travelling heathen who drinks and sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. Try and stop me drinking in any establishment I want an' I'll kick yer sorry arse.
24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to float. Who are you going to show this to first?
Float? What sort of dumb-arse question is this? I can already float. You learn that just before you learn freestyle. I showed my mum first!
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Beethoven. He deserves all those royalties after living as a pauper all his life, even though he created the most beautiful music I have ever heard. Plus, he might fancy composing some more music.
26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Hard call. I'd be hesitant to bring back anyone in case they came back 'wrong' like Buffy did. It didn't matter with Beethoven as he was already mad as a cut snake. Or just deaf.
27. What’s your theme song?
Dancing Queen, by Abba.
28. Who’s up next?
If you’re reading this and you have a blog – you’re tagged. And if you're reading this and you don't have a blog you're still tagged, so either: (a) set up a blog, or (b) email me your answers to the meme.