I’m a self-centred bint, so I made a wee change. Prepare to be mesmerised by the utter vacuousness of the following.
My world would be a better place if people watched where they were going. There still appears to be some confusion as to which side of the footpath/sidewalk one should walk, despite the arrows on the ground indicating just that.
My world would be a better place if the same people refrained from inspecting their navels, feet, etc. as they wandered around the city. If they’re looking down, they should be able to see the arrows and follow them accordingly.
My world would be a better place if the insane plastic bag subculture didn’t exist. For some incomprehensible reason, certain items purchased from supermarkets are wrapped in plastic then placed in plastic bags. That’s at least three layers of plastic, people.
My world would be a better place if the Clown went back to lurking in hostess bars all day and didn’t involve himself in current projects, thereby confusing an already confused office.
My world would be a better place if the following scenario didn’t happen again. Ever.
Clown: GG-san, how many files you have left?
GG: I’ve done five of the nine files, so I have four to read.
Clown: You have two.
GG: Um... out of the nine files, I have read five files, so that leaves four files.
Clown: There are not nine files.
GG: Oh. (Opens folder on computer) Here are the nine files I received.
Clown: Ah so, we sent two back to client. You have seven files.
GG: O-kaaay. Which files have been sent back to the client?
(Clown indicates the returned files)
GG: So… I have proofed two 4000-word documents that I didn’t actually need to read?
Clown: You have new boots? (staring at GG’s legs)
My world would be a better place if I’m never again sent a 5500-word* document at 4.00pm on a Friday afternoon. If I didn’t work on it until 6.30 then decide to call it a day as it had been a very long week. If I didn’t shut down my computer, put on my beanie, coat and gloves, and have some weekend-plans banter with the gaijin guy next to me. If I didn’t walk to the door, only to hear:
Clown: GG-san, it is good translation, ne?
GG: It’s not bad, Clown-san. I’ve had to rewrite a lot, as the translation is quite literal and very confusing in places.
Clown: You have finished the file?
GG: I’ve got four pages to go, so I’ll get it to you by lunchtime on Monday.
Clown: The file is due tonight.
GG: @#$$#%%^^&(*)*()%^$%^#$^#$@$%^%&% (Just manages to refrain from spontaneously combusting. Just.)
My world will be a better place when it finally sinks into my thick skull that it is possible to say ‘no’ without actually saying no. It can be done in the following ways, so please be advised of the following and take precautions:
It is possible
Various gutteral sounds
Conversely, my world will be a better place when it finally sinks into my thick skull that ‘yes’ can mean:
* I rewrite about 1000 words an hour if the translation is good, i.e. I can understand wtf is being said. This job required at least seven hours, not 2.5 hours. And it would have been very handy to know the deadline constraints.