12 February 2007

Monday Melee

Er, it's time for the Monday Melee again. At the rate I'm going, this weekly theme will be the only thing appearing on this piece of shite.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Manipulative people. I'm very easy-going and laid back so I find it almost incomprehensible that some folk deliberately choose to fuck with other people's lives. If you thrive on drama and chaos, then restrict it to your own sorry existence and don't drag other people into your insane world.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
The concept of Japanese efficiency. Before I lived here, I had the impression that Japanese society was highly efficient. Although Japan’s workers reportedly work more hours than just about any other nation, I'm here to tell you that not a lot is getting done. People may be physically present in the office for 12 hours or more a day, but are probably productive for only 50% of that time. It's more important to show that you're there for the company than actually do the job efficiently.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Fluorescent lights. They’re everywhere! It’s the worst lighting in the world and it doesn’t make things, or me, look pretty at all. For some inexplicable reason, there are five lights on the ceiling at GGHQ, four of which are fluorescent. The horrible lighting is slowly killing me.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Nic, this one's to you, darlin'. You've had a really, really tough couple of years and you've handled them with strength, resilience and a hell of a lot of courage. You're my hero, and I'm sorry I wasn't in Australia to support you through it. Miss you, babe.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I have beautiful blue eyes. Or they could be green. I have trouble telling the difference between blue and green. Either way, when they're not bloodshot and bleary, I like 'em.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
I wish for a new job that offers health insurance, paid sick leave, a decent salary and more than 10 days holiday a year. Ha, and the Eropod 500.


  1. I'm with you on the flourescent lights. My pet beef is when they're on the way out and have that flicker thing going on.

  2. Hi Vic, aaaaaargh, the flicky thing is epileptic-episode inducing. Or maybe the rage brings them on.

  3. Good to see someone's stolen all the garbage from the back of GGHQ.

    And we've just GOT to have a close-up photo of those eyes, before the fluorescents shrivel 'em up.

    And you know the job's yours, though the commute from Tokyo to Norfolk is going to be hell!

  4. Hey Dive, yup, GGHQ is getting a wee spring clean. It's a tad early but we all know I don't like to put things off. Er...
    Hehe, good try with the photo request. I guess you'll see my eyes when you pick me up from the airport. I see your hellish 7-hours-per-day travel and raise you to whatever the hell it would be that I'd be doing. Does that sentence even make sense?

  5. Sounds Japanese to me …

  6. I think you're turning Japanese, i think you're turning Japanese i really think so.

  7. Daah, Da, Dahh, Da-Da, Dahh, Dahhh...

  8. Yay, I'm finally getting a song sung to me on my blog.

    Erm, even if it is about masturbation...

  9. Really?
    I'm gonna have to get me a copy and listen again.
    It was the Vapors, wasn't it?

  10. Yup, the Vapors.
    From Wikipedia: "Turning Japanese" was often rumored to be a euphemism for excessive masturbation, and the subject of the song. This is based on the perception that people make a face where they squint their eyes and curl their lips to expose the upper incisors during masturbation and orgasm, resembling the stereotypical image of a Japanese person. Although Dave Fenton viewed it as a love song when writing it, he would alternately confirm and deny the rumors in interviews.

    Sorry for the blatant cut and paste but am at work and am sneaking about on my blog.